Tuesday, March 8, 2011
A short little intro to all the loves of my life
   The term "unconditional love"...Wow! I never understood the concept until I had children. I know there is nothing they could ever do that would make me love them less. Children have taught me about a God-like love. I am eternally grateful for the gift of being a mother.

80's day for homecoming week. He was sporting the jammers and shades!
   My first child was born when I really was just a child myself, I thought I had it all figured out...funny how the older we get the more we realize we don't know. I was married my senior year of high school to a wonderful man that I lost a 2 1/2 yrs later, He lived for us, he worked so hard to provide for us. He passed away the day before our son's 2nd birthday. Our son is truly the greatest gift that I could ever ask for. He reminds me of my late husband, such a great young man...he is honest, caring, loving and has a good head on his shoulders. I can't believe that my child is coming to a cross road in his life very soon. He will be 18 in June, he will be  a senior in high school having to make so many decisions that will help him on his road to the rest of his life. I hope that I have prepared him, I think I have. For now he is so happy to just being a kid, he lives for football and plays on his high school team. He is so dedicated that the day he had a medical procedure he made me bring him to practice (he slept through it, lol). Oh the day our youngest was born he held the baby *swoon* and then said "I can still make it to practice"! He loves all the littles so much and plays daily with him, I call him my baby hog. Most pics of him he is holding a baby! He will make a wonderful hubby and daddy one day in the distant future!

Little mama, always holding the baby!
   My second child conceived at a not so great time in my life, I was still crazy over the loss of my husband and not living right. I am not proud to say but I found out about her a year after my husband died. She made me stop and think about my life choices and really was a blessing in so many ways. I found my way again. She is now 14 and has come into the challenging years (something I never experienced with my oldest). She is obsessed with animals! She loves them! She loves playing soccer and cheering on her cheer squad (I wish she were not behind in school and that her grades would permit her to join school squad next yr) My daughter has high functioning autism which has made most milestones and everyday experience challenging. I mourn the loss of simple life for her. At times just getting dressed is a struggle, the simple things in life may cause her so much anxiety and pain. It is so heartbreaking to see this struggle for her. I am not sad for me, or angry....I am just so sad for her that life is not just easier. I try to see things through her eyes and it is so hard to do at times. I can't understand how she must feel when she puts on a shirt that hurts her...It hurts her? If the seam lays in the wrong place, if the material is not the right texture, if it fits a little snug in the wrong spot...it is so overwhelming for her. She has difficulties with simple things but the most frustrating is that since she seems typical at first glance then people assume she is just a brat or schools assume she is lazy. OH she is a story on her own. I love her so much and pray that one day things will just be....that she will just be....I don't know that simple things are just enjoyable, that is my greatest wish for her.

She is enjoying crabs with Daddy after a long day of crabbin
   My third child is 11, she is mine through Ryan. We meet when she was only 10 mths, that was almost 11 yrs ago. She is not mine by birth but she is mine non-the-less, I just got her in a different way than the others. We get her every other weekend and she comes for a few weeks in the summer. She is a such a tom-boy, there is nothing girly about this one. She thinks make up and dresses are silly. Give the girl a basketball, softball bat or skate board. I love that she knows who she is and does not care who doesn't like it. She is talented at sports, and finally enjoys playing on teams. She is loud and is full force in all she does. I love her country twang...although we all have that southern twang hers is so different and it is a source of entertainment at times (mine definitely not hers, lol) The girl loves horses, really any animal. When I say love I mean LOVE!!!  Every present for about 8 yrs of her life HAD to be a horse. She would take the saddles of because she did not think they need that. I was so excited to find a book with all kinds of horses and info on each breed and the best thing was that none of the horses had saddles, how perfect! What can I say about her....she is just herself! I think it is so funny that when she was here this last weekend she told me that she hopes we are done having kids and that she thinks we are nuts for having so many, lol I get that response alot. I don't think we have that many kids. She does not like babies much, she likes them around 1 1/2 or 2. Her best little buddy is our 5 yr old.

Love the ball field days!
   Now on to my fourth! Oh my, he was my breaking point. I felt so overwhelmed with him. This boy hit the ground running. Just a week or so after turning 3 he decided to ride a two wheel bike and did, he just did. At the end of the day he was trying to pop wheelies, which he did achieve in a couple of days. At the end of a couple of weeks he was jumping big brother's ramps! He will be the death of me! He was in competition gymnastics but it dictated our lives so no more. He love baseball, football and basketball. He is my child that things come so easy to but he is the first to throw in the towel at the first sign of difficulty. I worry about him, I pray for work ethic for this one. He is a sweet boy, super loving but quick to anger. I pray for patience for this one too. He is not very understanding of his oldest sister and her struggles. I pray for empathy for this one. He is a wonderful kid and I love him completely but will require more molding to become the man he needs to be.

cheesy grin!
   My fifth, so my sweet little boy. He is always smiling, cute little dimples shinning! His first day of school he cried (and I cried), he had never been to school before kindergarten with the exception of a short stint at a mothers day out while I went to school. His teacher said he was sobbing and when she went to him and said hi that he just smiled so big, she said she loves that smiling boy.  I love that heart felt joy that he has for life and love for others. He loves going outside and playing, and on the flip side he loves to cuddle on the couch with mommy or daddy (when daddy stops long enough). This little guy is 5, did you know that a 5 yr old can regress with a new baby? I did not, I thought he was too old! We are working on having fun being a big boy, I point out to him all the things he can do that the baby can't. He just wants to be my lovey, he is such a sweet boy. He loves to play baseball and soccer as well as doing gymnastics. He is not the one things come easy to but he is athletic and works at things that don't just come to him. He has such work ethic at such a young age. I know he strive when he puts his mind to it. I can't wait to see the man he grows into! I am enjoying the boy he is, but it passes so fast.

He was dancing while sis was singing!
HEMy sixth child, you have seen him...and his bum! hehehe! I did not think that I would have children after I turned 30 but here he is! I found out about him a few weeks after I graduated from nursing school. I was so sad, I thought I would have to leave a six week old and go to work. I am so glad that things worked out so that I could stay home with him thus far. I will have to leave him soon and it breaks my heart. This past year has flown by and crawled along all at the same time. At 8 wks he stopped breathing! I mean stopped! I picked him up around midnight when I was about to head to bed, he woke up and nursed a little bit. I sat him up to burp him and he STOPPED BREATHING! All CPR training was gone! I was a mess! I jumped in my car and headed about 1/4 mile down the road to police station hoping someone could help because I had no idea what to do. We waited on EMT for a few minutes but seemed like forever. He would not open his eyes, I would pop his leg and he would move a very little air, just a wimper and he would not open his eyes. Long story short it was acid reflux, he had aspirated stomach content and airways shut when acid hits them. He is finally off of both acid reflux meds and sleeping flat. He is such a joy, his personality is really blossuming now. He dances to everything with a rythm, even the dryer running. He is not quick to smile. He loves to give slobbery kisses and super long hugs, nothing better than little arms around your neck. Especially little arms of a little one that you once thought was not going to be here. I am so thankful that I was awake enough that I noticed what was happening when he stopped breathing, I am so thankful he is still with us! I will not complain when he wakes me every 2 hrs to eat even to this day. I love to be woke up with his demands.

3 comments:

Hillary said...

WOW!! Thank you so much for sharing about your beautiful family!! Such a scary story about your littlest one, i wouldn't mind getting up that often either after that scare!! God bless you and your family!!

addictedtocloth said...

Beautiful kids! Thank you for sharing! We have a bit in common as I have babies that come from a very mixed (dare I say dysfunctional?) family! My oldest was born when I was still a child myself (19!)and my oldest daughter was born when I was going through a hard, tough, wild phase. My third is my baby from a very short lived marriage, before her daddy took off, and my fourth and fifth are my babies from my wonderful husband who I hope to grow old with!

It doesn't matter where we've been, as long as we get on the right road eventually, and I wouldn't trade all my bad experiences and regrets for my babies any day of the week, even the toughest days!

You have given me the courage to be bolder about my past, and hope that it might help someone else down the line, thank you! There is no testimony without the TEST!

~Stacy~ said...

I was always leery of sharing my story but through the years I have seen it play out in so many others' lives too. We are all human and have our faults and failures. I am so happy with my family and would not change a thing, my life has made me the person and the mom I am today. Thanks so much "Addicted to Cloth" I am glad you identified and felt comfortable sharing too. I love the blogging community, it really makes you realize that we are connected in so many ways. By the way, I love your blog!

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